Buying a car - It's the modern equivalent of Russian Roulette - You either win and walk away a happy man, or you get your face severely done in...
My search for a new car has been not only been frustrating, but has reminded me that there are a lot of 'human beings' out there that are more than happy to slam a lemon in your face and call it an apple. I spent my whole long weekend looking at countless so called 'good condition' cars.
Now let me explain what I'm looking for - simple. A reliable car under $8000 that will take me from A to B without making me look like I'm a Centrelink bludger or that I have a chronic gambling addiction.
Countless 'amazing condition for age', 'all original paint' and 'full service history' claims and not a single good car!
Three cars stood out the most - and not in a good way. The funniest being an EK Civic. I called the lady who advertised the car, and found that her English was quite poor. I asked her if it was a Sedan or Hatch. She thought for a moment and said 'I think sedan'. 'Sorry', I replied, 'I'm only interested in hatches (in the Civics case)'. Quickly, she corrected herself and said 'oh it's hatch its hatch!'
Upon arriving, I find a faded blue, SEDAN which, after lifting the bonnet, was quite obviously in an accident. Panels didn't align properly and some bolts were missing. Looked at her and said thanks and left. I'm not blaming her, she might not have known it was in an accident, but I definitely want a car I can sell easily next year.
Second would have to be a CD Accord described to me by the owner as having all original paint, never been in an accident, only driven by his wife to and from the shops only 2km's away and has always been serviced every 6 months. The body is in excellent condition.
Upon arriving, I find an slutty Accord that's had numerous relationships with various walls, posts and curbs. The front passenger headlight was cracked and it was obvious that the car had been repainted at the front, the drivers side door, and rear bumper. There was paint that seemed to have leaked onto the inside door trim on the drivers side, and a heck of a lot of dents around.
But that's not it. The interior light didn't work the horn didn't work the SRS air bag light was on the ABS brakes light was on the handbrake light was broken the interior looked like bats had been breeding in it the leather had more cracks on it than most Sydney roads it smelled like ass the boot looked like it carried a corpse at one point in it's life there was scratches everywhere the carpet was ripped and the log books were missing.
Still, that wasn't the worse thing of all...
It was the owner, constantly insisting that I would not find anything better. I think I'm fully capable of sitting next to my dog's designated drop zone, wait for one of them to defecate and wrap it up and write 'Mercedes Benz' on it. I'd rather take that to work and back every day then drive his death trap.
Last would be one from a dealer. Upon talking to one of the men there on the phone, I decided to go check it out.
It seemed as though every car in the yard has been in some sort of accident. I wish I took my camera with me, because there were some pretty twisted stuff there. No, not scary movie twisted, chassis twisted. There was a Mitsubishi Mirage there who's panels were so out of whack, anyone who buys it is either blind with no hands, or a complete idiot.
I was greeted by a bloke who asked me if he could help me. I told him I called about the Accord. He showed me where it was. Nice... Parked in the darkest, dingiest possible place in the dealership. I looked closer...
Great - a hippy car. No reds, yellows, pinks, purples and blues though, but every single shade of green imaginable was on the car. None of which seemed to match any other panel on the car. Apparently, it wasn't a 4 year old that painted the car... Right...
As I walked away I heard one of the other workers there say to the guy who helped me 'What happened'. The reply? No, it wasn't 'he just didn't like the car' or 'he will be back later', but a whisper of 'he knew it was in an accident'.
To have a whole shop full of dodgy car's operating in Australia is simply appalling. I won't name it however anyone who is wishes to know which dealership it was, feel free to email me.
Happy holidays everyone!
