The hunt

Buying a car - It's the modern equivalent of Russian Roulette - You either win and walk away a happy man, or you get your face severely done in...

My search for a new car has been not only been frustrating, but has reminded me that there are a lot of 'human beings' out there that are more than happy to slam a lemon in your face and call it an apple. I spent my whole long weekend looking at countless so called 'good condition' cars.

Now let me explain what I'm looking for - simple. A reliable car under $8000 that will take me from A to B without making me look like I'm a Centrelink bludger or that I have a chronic gambling addiction.
Countless 'amazing condition for age', 'all original paint' and 'full service history' claims and not a single good car!



Three cars stood out the most - and not in a good way. The funniest being an EK Civic. I called the lady who advertised the car, and found that her English was quite poor. I asked her if it was a Sedan or Hatch. She thought for a moment and said 'I think sedan'. 'Sorry', I replied, 'I'm only interested in hatches (in the Civics case)'. Quickly, she corrected herself and said 'oh it's hatch its hatch!'

Upon arriving, I find a faded blue, SEDAN which, after lifting the bonnet, was quite obviously in an accident. Panels didn't align properly and some bolts were missing. Looked at her and said thanks and left. I'm not blaming her, she might not have known it was in an accident, but I definitely want a car I can sell easily next year.

Second would have to be a CD Accord described to me by the owner as having all original paint, never been in an accident, only driven by his wife to and from the shops only 2km's away and has always been serviced every 6 months. The body is in excellent condition.

Upon arriving, I find an slutty Accord that's had numerous relationships with various walls, posts and curbs. The front passenger headlight was cracked and it was obvious that the car had been repainted at the front, the drivers side door, and rear bumper. There was paint that seemed to have leaked onto the inside door trim on the drivers side, and a heck of a lot of dents around.

But that's not it. The interior light didn't work the horn didn't work the SRS air bag light was on the ABS brakes light was on the handbrake light was broken the interior looked like bats had been breeding in it the leather had more cracks on it than most Sydney roads it smelled like ass the boot looked like it carried a corpse at one point in it's life there was scratches everywhere the carpet was ripped and the log books were missing.

Still, that wasn't the worse thing of all...

It was the owner, constantly insisting that I would not find anything better. I think I'm fully capable of sitting next to my dog's designated drop zone, wait for one of them to defecate and wrap it up and write 'Mercedes Benz' on it. I'd rather take that to work and back every day then drive his death trap.

Last would be one from a dealer. Upon talking to one of the men there on the phone, I decided to go check it out.

It seemed as though every car in the yard has been in some sort of accident. I wish I took my camera with me, because there were some pretty twisted stuff there. No, not scary movie twisted, chassis twisted. There was a Mitsubishi Mirage there who's panels were so out of whack, anyone who buys it is either blind with no hands, or a complete idiot.

I was greeted by a bloke who asked me if he could help me. I told him I called about the Accord. He showed me where it was. Nice... Parked in the darkest, dingiest possible place in the dealership. I looked closer...

Great - a hippy car. No reds, yellows, pinks, purples and blues though, but every single shade of green imaginable was on the car. None of which seemed to match any other panel on the car. Apparently, it wasn't a 4 year old that painted the car... Right...

As I walked away I heard one of the other workers there say to the guy who helped me 'What happened'. The reply? No, it wasn't 'he just didn't like the car' or 'he will be back later', but a whisper of 'he knew it was in an accident'.

To have a whole shop full of dodgy car's operating in Australia is simply appalling. I won't name it however anyone who is wishes to know which dealership it was, feel free to email me.

Happy holidays everyone!

Good bye Integra

She's gone. She left me. I'm all alone...

Guy's she sold. I posted her up on the 14th and I had 4 calls by the 16th. The buyer was so keen I told him I wouldn't be home from work until 1am or so - More honestly I needed time to remove my sound system. He waited. He came at 1:30am to pick her up. Done. Gone.

I watched as she left me for another man. She roared happily as she left.

I'm sad... Alone...



Nothing like a daggy 90's clip to heal the pain.

Something sad...

I have some heart breaking news...

Guys I might be selling the Integra. I've put it up for sale at a higher price but if someone wants it, it's going. Why you might ask? I just don't 'feel' it anymore. I think the EG Civc was more fun. This might sound stupid but...

It's too perfect - but not. Let me explain.

I've wanted this car since I was about 12. I remember the school boy days of drooling over pictures of it and watching Youtube videos of it speeding past other cars on the racetrack for hours on end. The sound of it screaming at 8400rpm - yummy!

This is the perfect example of 'never meet your heros'.

Yes, it is fast. But it is too fast. I no longer understand this obsession of fast cars on public roads. Yes, they're 'fun', but you can never go fast on the roads, making them simply frustrating. Worse is that I'm driving a distinct looking car that police target. It's not the fastest car in the world (by far) but already it's too much for the public roads. Doesn't help that none of that power is evident under 5000rpm...

Perfection... For an Integra boy, this car is simply a dream example. The paint is spotless, the chassis is tight and the engine is in tip top condition with exceptionally low kms with a full logbook. Most importantly, it hasn't been molested by a 17 year old boy. Why? The previous owner was born in an era where pet microceratops were the norm. I assume she wasn't a very boring grandma - more likely:

Her left knee has finally lost it's battle against arthritis and she can no longer drive a manual car - Just a guess.

I just can't keep it - I find myself driving slower as to not damage the engine. I find myself going out to dinner, and endlessly thinking if the Integra is safe. I find myself cleaning every imperfection off it as soon as I see them. I find myself parking on the street, then having to catch a taxi to the curb as to not scratch it's rims.

I now understand it. 12 year old me put the Integra on a pedestal so high that it cannot co-exist with the real world. In the real world, there are speed limits, cars break, paint scratches, there's dirt and it rains. That and there are other people - none of which are near perfect. Curbs are also not made of marshmellow, and crashing hurts.

Not the best pictures of the car, but this is from the night after work that I thought I might sell her. I took out my camera and took some quick snaps. Lets see if she sells!